Last week I wrote that we had a call from a gentleman that told us that his mother got really mad when he began to discuss that she really did need help with certain things, and she ought to consider in home care for some of her basic needs.
He felt bad because when the subject came up, it was hard on both of them, as well as other members of the family. His mom is widowed and in her 90’s.
Making adjustments and life changes for the elderly can be very difficult.
Decisions that have to be made when a member of the family needs care, like this gentleman’s mother, can be hard on everyone. Many times, the topics like in home care, quality and end of life issues, when care may actually be needed, and legal matters, is left until a crisis comes up, and many times it can be too late.
As I listened to some of the frustration that he was having with the situation, I tried to reassure him that all of this was very common, and our elderly parents, some who are now alone like her, and trying to do many things on their own, don’t really want to be a burden on anyone. It’s difficult for even healthy younger people to ask for help, or admit they need it. After all, ask any man that is gets lost driving a car… directions anyone?
As I alluded to in my last blog post, things got even worse when the topic of obtaining a Power of Attorney came up in the family discussion. According to my client, his mother would say things like, “I will never sign a power of attorney, all people want is to get my money…” or “this is like a blank check to all my assets.”
After hearing how difficult it was to educate his mother on the topic, I did tell him that if his mom was willing, he should see if he could get his mom to an attorney who specializes in elder law. This is a whole topic on it’s own.
How often I have heard attorney friends of mine, as well as notaries give sage advice on making sure we all have power of attorneys (POA’s) filled out and notarized in case something happens. It is simply good estate planning and making sure that you let others know what your wishes are if you are not able to speak for yourself.
There are so many videos that are designed to help us understand the issue of a POA, however here is one that is pretty good.
The conversation between mom and son is still going on the last time I checked.
Mom still won’t budge yet on her perception that a POA is actually something that she loses control of her assets, and son is still trying to get mom to consider seeing a professional about the subject, as it is something so important that will speak for her if she isn’t able to speak for herself.
Has anyone else had an issue like this? Please post a comment on our Facebook Page and let us know how you dealt with it.
Remember we are here to help you navigate through these tough places. Even if you just need someone to talk to, give us a call. We specialize in senior and elder in home care, (including Alzheimers) or any type of non medical in home care such as bathing, companionship or food preparation. Check out our scope of services page.
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